What You Shouldn't Say to a Football Family.

When DJ and I first started dating, I fully signed up for this football wife life. We started dating at the beginning of a season, and he told me straight up that if I couldn't handle his hours that we wouldn't work. Thankfully, I'm more independent and stubborn than he first realized and here we are, 15 years later. 

What I didn't sign up for was all the snark that would head my way no matter what school he worked for. And now that we're at Texas, the snark game is strong. And friends, it's not fun. 

Moving here from Oklahoma was hard. Of course, so many of our friends from "back home" are either OU or OSU fans, and then other friends from all around the country have their favorite teams too, and more often than not, it's never Texas. 

Let me just say straight up,  the snarky comments are hurtful and there are only a few that I 100% know are kidding and joking and it's all in good fun. But, those are maybe 5 people that are super close family and friends. And chances are, if you aren't sure that it's you, then it's not. 

This weekend, I read comments like "Matthew M. is the only good thing about Texas" or I saw a friend teaching her daughter the horns down and blasting it on facebook. Another person joked about Gretchen not watching the game because she was reading, and another stated their team "rocks". 

Not even to mention the BS that spews from fans mouth on social media pages, that I tell myself every year to not read, and inevitably, I do anyway. 

I understand that you don't like Texas, but here's the truth. You are putting down my husband's job and our livelihood. When you wish for us to lose, you're wishing for us, the coaches, the staff, and their families to be fired. You're wishing for us to uproot our lives yet again and pray that we can find jobs. Look, I know what we got ourselves in to. I know that it's a possibility, but it sucks when you hear people wishing that upon you. You may not say it directly, but you are saying it. When football teams don't win, coaches get fired. I've learned from being a wife and from being friends with so many wives, that they're are hard and difficult emotions. 

When we play your team, you don't have to cheer for us, in fact, I 100% expect you not to, but I always expect that you won't talk smack about it on social media or to me personally. But, it always happens. At Tulsa, I had someone tell me I was wearing "the wrong colors." or, we have friends ask us for tickets and wear the opposing team colors, or say "I'm so glad you were there to watch X team win." 

We will always cheer for wherever we are, and we will always have fond memories and a soft spot for our previous teams. We will still cheer for Tulsa, watch Ball State, Louisiana Tech (except for the last weekend when we played them) and even Arkansas State, our alma mater. We will bleed for the new team, and buy a new wardrobe just to have our new school colors. I never thought I'd have so much burnt orange in my closet, but I do, and I'm proud of it. I'll change up the décor, and act like I've been the biggest fan since the day I was born. It's what we do. It's what I'll always do. 

Our girls will love the team too. And while they miss their friends, our old team, and old traditions, they'll make new memories and they'll be okay. But you know what? When a classmate says out loud in class, that they're glad Texas lost, it hurts them too.  We'll continue to sing "The Eyes of Texas" every night when we tuck them in if that's what they want us to do. 

And when the time comes for us to move on, we'll pick up and do it all over again. We'll buy a new wardrobe, we'll learn a new fight song, we'll cheer just as hard for that team as we do for Texas, and as we did for our previous schools. We'll adjust. And we'll act like we were the biggest fans of that school since the day we were born. 

But, before you post something on social media and you're "just joking" think about if you're really "just joking" or are you being hurtful. Because, it hurts me and it hurts my kids, and thankfully, my husband has thicker skin than I do, but I'm pretty sure it hurts him too. 

You may not like our current school, but if you like us or call us a friend,  then please respect us. Please be kind. Words hurt, even if you didn't mean for them to. 

Until then, Horns Up. 

Hook 'em.