Working It Wednesday: Marriage Edition

Hey guys! I'm linking up with Shay and Erika for Working it Wednesday! This week, we're sharing how we keep our marriage strong! And I'm looking forward to reading through everyone's blogs to get some date night tips and more!

DJ and I have been married for 11 years, as of this past December.... 

I'm going to start at the beginning because I really think that decisions we made when we began dating have impacted our marriage today. 

When I met DJ he was a student video coordinator for our college's football program. I was beginning my first year of graduate school. We were busy. He told me from the very beginning that I needed to understand that football was a big part of his life and that it would get in the way of our dating. He would be gone a lot, and I needed to be okay with that. We spent every minute that we could together... Our dates were often a quick lunch at our college cafeteria, or me hanging out in his office after a practice. And then we would see each other for dinner. It became very normal for me to hang out with him at his work, and I would often stay up with him until 2 am while he was editing game film. I had to understand that football was always going to be there, and we had to be creative when it came to those first few months of dating.

And, it totally worked, because just three short months later, we had picked out my engagement ring, and our wedding bands. And a month later we were engaged. Our engagement lasted a year, as I wanted a December wedding. 

And boy, did football really get in the way then. Our college team became bowl eligible for the first time in a very long time. That meant that one of our groomsmen had to step out because he needed to travel with the team, and family had to step in to film the ceremony because DJ's other student workers, had to be in Louisiana. The day after our wedding, we flew to Lafayette, Louisiana because the New Orleans bowl had been relocated thanks to Hurricane Katrina earlier that year. 

We celebrated our honeymoon at a football game. 

And I still didn't think I knew then the impact that it would have on our lives. 

In fact, we just celebrated our 11 year anniversary, at... you guessed it.... a bowl game. 

During the season, we just don't see each other often.

So, while this may not apply to everyone, it applies to keeping our marriage strong. 

1. Understand that he won't be around much and be okay with it. 

2. Put your big girl panties on and deal with it. 

3. Don't hold grudges or keep up with everything I've done vs. everything he has done. 

4. Try to see him as much as possible. Sneak in time at practices, try to have a quick dinner together as a family, and go to every home game. 

5. Have a date night once a month. 

Our team also has a weekend dedicated to a wives trip, and I make sure that I go so we have some time away together. 

Thanks to football, we've lived in 4 states. I had to understand from the very beginning that we may move often, and I promised him that I would go where he needed to go. If he had a job offer today and he felt that is where God needed him, I would be 100% in. 

Since we were traveling for our bowl game on our anniversary, we made sure to carve some time out to spend, just the two of us. We headed out to explore South Beach and just enjoyed walking around. We've always loved to explore new towns, which is probably why we are okay when it comes to moving. 

In the off season, we enjoy traveling. We may take a quick weekend away just the two of us, or we go as a family and explore something new. Even if we take a trip to visit our families, we enjoy being together.... now, he may tell you that I prefer to sleep or read while he drives, but we're together! Ha! 

We meet for lunch. If DJ is off or is able to take a long lunch, he'll either surprise me and bring me lunch, or we meet. We use to love doing this when we lived in Indiana, and now that my job is more "in the office" we're not able to lunch as often as we use to. 

We're a team. I think that to continue having a strong marriage, we have to be a team. At the end of the day, when you both work full time, and run kids to after school activities, and sometimes, he puts in more than an 8 or 12 hour day... we still have to be a team at home. We divide and conquer, so while one us cooks, the other will step in to clean. Or while one of us does laundry, the other will make sure the girls are bathed. During the season, I am often solo, but when he's home and able, he's willing to step in and help. 

Divorce is not an option. When we were dating, we both new and agreed that divorce wouldn't be an option. So, we work at it. Marriage takes work, and there's times that we argue about money, or we get upset with each other, because maybe I do start keeping up with all that I've done versus all that he's done, or there's a time that I am just done with football season and totally over it, but in the end, we made a commitment and neither of us are willing to budge on it. 

So, I'm thankful to do life beside this guy. 

Workin' It Wednesdays: New Year's Goals

Happy Wednesday friends! Today, I'm linking up with Shay and Erika for Workin' It Wednesdays! I'm kind of excited about this monthly series! Take a look at the topics! 

This week, we're sharing our New Year's Goals, and at the end of 2016 and the last 11 days, I wasn't really sure that I had many goals for the year. 

I mean, last year, I blogged about my Resolutions and then did a monthly update, and fell off the bandwagon in the middle of the year, and some years I focus on a word. I had thought I would focus on a word this year, but I couldn't come up with one other than "me." And, how selfish does that sound?

So, I have been thinking about how I exactly want to incorporate 'me' in a non-selfish sort of way, and what goals I really do need to re-shift my focus on. 

1. Working Out. 

I joined a gym the first Monday of the year. I tend to be frugal in certain areas, and over the last three years, I have refused to pay the price of a gym. However, it's taking it's toll and despite my efforts of working out and running, I am still not loosing the baby weight that has been attached to my body since I got pregnant with Adalyn (4 years ago). And, a gym finally opened close to our house and they have childcare. So, i'm determined to take care of me and to work out, get in shape, loose weight. We have a cruise coming up and a vacation planned this summer, and this mom would like to at least feel comfortable in her tankini again. 

2. Housework

Let me be honest, fall stresses me out. I always have high hopes and anticipation going in to a new school year, but this year took it's toll on me. In the fall, I'm often single-moming it, and I simply cannot do it all. I have always felt like I stay pretty caught up on housework, but I needed a better plan. So, this year I'm tweaking my housework plan. 

I'm going to run our dishwasher every single day. Whether it's full or not. I try to start it before we leave in the morning, but if that doesn't happen, i'll start it every night. 

I'm also going to complete one load of laundry every day. I did really well with this last week! I would put a load in at night, and set our washer to begin around 4 in the morning. This way, I could immediately put it in the dryer in the morning. And then I would start another load in the morning and set the washer to start later in the afternoon. When I get home in the evenings, I have one load ready to be folded and one load ready to be put in the dryer. We're also going to fold and put away the loads every day. I usually wait until we have full loads, or I try to catch up on a load in the middle of the week, and then it never gets folded or put away. Nope. Not this year. Even if it's a small load, it seems like it will be more manageable. 

This year, I got a Roomba for Christmas. Praise. I'm going to sweep and run the real vacuum cleaner on the weekends, and then i'm going to run the roomba every day downstairs. 

Make the bed. I already make our bed every day, and it just seems like our house is much cleaner when it's made. 

3. Be Prepared

I need to make sure the girls are prepared and ready, so our mornings are hectic and crazy. I'm in a pretty good habit of setting out Adalyn's clothes each day. However, Megan is often mismatched. So, I'm starting the habit now of setting out clothes for both of the girls. 

I'm also working to set out some time where I actually fix the girls hair each day. At the end of last year, Megan would often get to school with her hair partly brushed and never fixed, and she would look like a total rag-a-muffin, and those days are done. 

I need to do some lunch prep and dinner prep on the weekends, remember to set things out, and plan our meals. We got in to a really bad habit of eating out or grabbing some quick during the season, and it's time to get out of that habit. 

4. Read and Bible Study

DJ bought me several books for Christmas and I would like to pick up my Bible study where I left off last year. I need to carve out some time at least once a week to do some reading. 

5. Grace

I know that I cannot do it all. Football season will roll around again, and I will be single-moming it and life will get busy, and chores won't get done. I may skip the gym and I may eat my weight in chocolate chip cookies or pick up an ice cream. And through it all, I will need to remember to extend myself grace, and pick up the next day and start again. 

There are some other areas where I want to focus my time and attention to this year.... as always, I want to be present and all in. (I have the book Present over Perfect on my reading list) and I want to continue to grow in my Young Living business. I want to work on connections and loving people for who they are and where they are in life. I want to let go of the excess and ask for help when I need it. I want to travel and enjoy the people God has placed in my life. 

So, all of this to say that that's why my word for the year is 'me'. I just want to be a better me along the way. 

Here's to 2017.