Working It Wednesday: Marriage Edition

Hey guys! I'm linking up with Shay and Erika for Working it Wednesday! This week, we're sharing how we keep our marriage strong! And I'm looking forward to reading through everyone's blogs to get some date night tips and more!

DJ and I have been married for 11 years, as of this past December.... 

I'm going to start at the beginning because I really think that decisions we made when we began dating have impacted our marriage today. 

When I met DJ he was a student video coordinator for our college's football program. I was beginning my first year of graduate school. We were busy. He told me from the very beginning that I needed to understand that football was a big part of his life and that it would get in the way of our dating. He would be gone a lot, and I needed to be okay with that. We spent every minute that we could together... Our dates were often a quick lunch at our college cafeteria, or me hanging out in his office after a practice. And then we would see each other for dinner. It became very normal for me to hang out with him at his work, and I would often stay up with him until 2 am while he was editing game film. I had to understand that football was always going to be there, and we had to be creative when it came to those first few months of dating.

And, it totally worked, because just three short months later, we had picked out my engagement ring, and our wedding bands. And a month later we were engaged. Our engagement lasted a year, as I wanted a December wedding. 

And boy, did football really get in the way then. Our college team became bowl eligible for the first time in a very long time. That meant that one of our groomsmen had to step out because he needed to travel with the team, and family had to step in to film the ceremony because DJ's other student workers, had to be in Louisiana. The day after our wedding, we flew to Lafayette, Louisiana because the New Orleans bowl had been relocated thanks to Hurricane Katrina earlier that year. 

We celebrated our honeymoon at a football game. 

And I still didn't think I knew then the impact that it would have on our lives. 

In fact, we just celebrated our 11 year anniversary, at... you guessed it.... a bowl game. 

During the season, we just don't see each other often.

So, while this may not apply to everyone, it applies to keeping our marriage strong. 

1. Understand that he won't be around much and be okay with it. 

2. Put your big girl panties on and deal with it. 

3. Don't hold grudges or keep up with everything I've done vs. everything he has done. 

4. Try to see him as much as possible. Sneak in time at practices, try to have a quick dinner together as a family, and go to every home game. 

5. Have a date night once a month. 

Our team also has a weekend dedicated to a wives trip, and I make sure that I go so we have some time away together. 

Thanks to football, we've lived in 4 states. I had to understand from the very beginning that we may move often, and I promised him that I would go where he needed to go. If he had a job offer today and he felt that is where God needed him, I would be 100% in. 

Since we were traveling for our bowl game on our anniversary, we made sure to carve some time out to spend, just the two of us. We headed out to explore South Beach and just enjoyed walking around. We've always loved to explore new towns, which is probably why we are okay when it comes to moving. 

In the off season, we enjoy traveling. We may take a quick weekend away just the two of us, or we go as a family and explore something new. Even if we take a trip to visit our families, we enjoy being together.... now, he may tell you that I prefer to sleep or read while he drives, but we're together! Ha! 

We meet for lunch. If DJ is off or is able to take a long lunch, he'll either surprise me and bring me lunch, or we meet. We use to love doing this when we lived in Indiana, and now that my job is more "in the office" we're not able to lunch as often as we use to. 

We're a team. I think that to continue having a strong marriage, we have to be a team. At the end of the day, when you both work full time, and run kids to after school activities, and sometimes, he puts in more than an 8 or 12 hour day... we still have to be a team at home. We divide and conquer, so while one us cooks, the other will step in to clean. Or while one of us does laundry, the other will make sure the girls are bathed. During the season, I am often solo, but when he's home and able, he's willing to step in and help. 

Divorce is not an option. When we were dating, we both new and agreed that divorce wouldn't be an option. So, we work at it. Marriage takes work, and there's times that we argue about money, or we get upset with each other, because maybe I do start keeping up with all that I've done versus all that he's done, or there's a time that I am just done with football season and totally over it, but in the end, we made a commitment and neither of us are willing to budge on it. 

So, I'm thankful to do life beside this guy.