Girl Mom: Momster

Today's post may be one of my most vulnerable as a mom. It's not pretty, but neither is life. Today's topic is something I definitely want to share, but it's also a very difficult one to discuss. 

Several nights ago, I found this written in Gretchen's journal:

"My mom is a angry troll."

Wow. Talk about a dagger to the heart. 

Let's be honest, there are times that I loose my temper with my children. There are times that I have not so proud mommy moments. If we are real, we all do. 

Last week, I had a not so pleasant evening. DJ was working late, and I was faced with coming home from work, cooking dinner, some laundry, dishes, light house cleaning, and giving the girls a bath. Not to mention, making sure we were all ready for school the next day. 

It's a daunting task to work all day and then to come home and face the realities of working more. It takes a small army to run a family of 5, and there are nights, because of DJ's job (and there are weeks in the football season) where I do it alone. It's hard y'all. 

I get overwhelmed, and more times than I'd like to admit, I raise my voice at the girls. After exhausting other options; I feel like it's the only way I can get them to listen. 

That night, after getting on to Megan (because she was hiding and not getting in the tub) Gretchen told me that sometimes I turn into a monster. 

7 year olds, can really open your eyes. Thanks to this event, Gretchen and I were able to have a serious discussion about how overwhelming things can be for a mommy. 

I was able to explain to her (through a few tears) how much mommies actually do. We talked about how mommies have to work, make sure the girls have clothes and shoes to wear, make sure that there's food to eat, and that the house is clean. I may have also mentioned a few other thousand things that are always on my to-do list. 

After Gretchen's bath, she was big helper! She put away her laundry without complaining and I hope that our talk opened her eyes to how much mommy needs help. 

Now, I know that I could come up with some clever ways of getting the girls to help more. I could probably come up with some ways to trick them into eating their dinner..... that's not what I want this post to be about. 

If anything, please take away, that being a mom is hard! It's challenging! For Lent, I've decided that I'm going to try to give up yelling at the girls. I'm faced with the reality that it's going to be a struggle for me. 

Over the next few days, I'm going to have to come up with a plan of action. The t..v. will likely have to be turned off; we will have to "unplug" and we will need to have some rebonding. 

It's been weeks of me feeling overwhelmed. Feeling alone. 

The thing is, I know better. I cannot remember one time my mother yelling at me when I was little. I can't remember her raising her voice at me. I don't want my girls to look back and remember the yelling. 

I will add this about  my girls; they are so quick to forgive and forget. It reminds me of the love that God has for his children. I'm thankful that He has sent that reminder to me through my girls. 

Today, if you're struggling as a mom, please know that you aren't alone! And, please, let me know that I am not alone! We need to be there to reassure each other! We need to be there to offer support, love, strength, courage, and understanding!

So, in this season of Lent, pray with me that I can be a more patient mother, and a better #girlmom.

I shared this on Instagram SEVERAL weeks ago, and thought we all might need this gracious reminder again. At least, I know I do. 

Praying for your mothering today! Praying for grace, because God knows that we all need it, in these moments that are so, so hard!

And, to brighten your spirits a bit, head over to my Facebook page and enter to win this gorgeous Stella & Dot bracelet!