Adventures in Mommyhood

I mentioned yesterday, that I would be sharing the story of our adventures on Wednesday night! So hang around, because there's sure to be lots of laughs!

DJ has been out of town all week, and my to-do list was pretty long! I decided that the girls and I would run errands on Wednesday night in order to get everything accomplished. 

I came home from work and picked up Gretchen, and then we went to pick up the little girls from daycare. Our first stop was the Dollar Tree in order to pick up baby shower decorations for Megan's baby doll birthday party on Saturday. 

Poor Adalyn was so tired, because she's only taking one short nap per day at daycare. I forgot to bring the Ergo, so I put her in the sling. Megan wanted to ride in the "wagon" (buggy/shopping cart) and we made our way through the aisles picking out everything we needed for the party. We went to check out, and I must say, it is so difficult to empty a cart with only one arm. Gretchen kept putting her Barbie doll on the check out counter, saying that we bought it there, and I could only imagine the cashier charging us $1.00 for a Barbie doll that we already own. I kept asking her to stop, and she did not. I finally had to get on to her. I took Megan out of the buggy and she cried because she didn't want to get out, and we headed out to the car. I pulled in to a space with two empty spots beside me, and of course by the time we were finished shopping, both of those empty spots were filled and I had the hardest time getting the girls in. At one point, Gretchen even got a spanking, and to be honest, I'm not sure why.

All I remember is that I told both big girls that if they did not straighten up and start listening that we would not go to Chick Fil A and that we would go home instead. 

Thankfully, this got their attention, and Gretchen kept making vows and promises in the back seat that she would be on her very best behavior! 

We arrived at Chick Fil A, and I gave the girls very specific instructions that we would hold hands, stand in line, wait patiently, not wander off, etc. I have to brag on Chick Fil A, because they are always so helpful when I'm in there with the girls. Maybe they just feel sorry for me! 

We made it to our seats, and I continued to hold Adalyn while getting the high chair, ketchup, silverware, dips, napkins, straws, and anything else we might need. I always strategically sit near the play area, so the girls can play. They know that they are not allowed to play until they finish eating. Our food was brought to us, and I'm so thankful I didn't have to try to balance it or leave the girls at the table. I gave the big girls their food, opened their dip, and sat down to nurse Adalyn. I was even able to eat my dinner while she nursed, which is amazing in just itself! I felt like I was totally winning! 

After the big girls ate, they were allowed to play in the play area. I put Adalyn in her high chair and fed her the baby food (homemade) that I had brought with me. Y'all, I remembered to grab homemade baby food, bibs, plastic placemats, and a spoon! I almost always forget it, so again, I felt like I was winning!

Once Adalyn was finished eating, I asked the waiter for ice cream with sprinkles. We traded in their kids meals toys for the ice cream, and I knew that it would be the perfect way to get them out of the play area. 

About the time the ice cream arrived, Gretchen runs out of the play area holding her bottom. She tells me that she has to go potty. Now. Poop is coming out. 

I told her to RUN.

Out comes Megan who suddenly has to potty too. I convince her to wait until she's finished her ice cream. Win.

After two bites of her ice cream, she still has to go potty. She gets up and runs to the bathroom and I barely had time to grab my purse, the diaper bag, and there was no way I'd get Adalyn unbuckled in time. Thank goodness the high chairs have wheels at Chick Fil A, because I wheeled Adalyn all the way back to the bathroom. 

About that time, Gretchen was coming out of the bathroom and I tell her she can go back to the table. (There were two police officers sitting near us.) I roll Adalyn into the bathroom, help Megan, and we head back to the table. 

Megan drops her entire ice cream scoop on the table. I did what any self respecting mom would do. I picked it right back up and put it in her bowl. I just prayed that the table was clean.

Then Gretchen had the bright idea to lick the ice cream that she had dripped on the table, off the table. Yes, my 6 year old was licking the table. I could not believe that I had to say, "Gretchen, don't lick the table." A lady near me laughed. Megan thought it was a great idea and licked the table too. I cleaned up the mess with napkins.

I went to get Adalyn cheerios and then when it was time to go, I had the great idea that the big girls could help me put away our trash while I gathered our belongings. Megan carried some trash to the trash can and somewhere along the way dropped two spoons. I saw her pick up the spoons and PUT THEM IN HER MOUTH! I could not believe what I was seeing and another lady near me looked amused and disgusted at the same time. I looked at her and said, "Were they at least our spoons?" She said they were, and I responded with "Well, at least they were our spoons! I can handle that." 

As we were leaving a mother (who had her husband and two children) told me that she had no idea how I handled the three girls by myself. I explained that my husband was out of town a lot and that this does NOT happen often!

We made it to the car, remember, the one Megan is afraid of, and I changed Adalyn's diaper. The family with the two kids came out and the mom laughed, "it takes you thirty minutes just to do anything." Why yes ma'am, it does. We are always late. Fashionably late as I like to refer to it. 

The girls and I headed to Hobby Lobby for more birthday party supplies. By this time, I had to use the restroom, so I loaded the girls in the buggy, and wheeled it to the back of the store. I asked the girls if they needed to potty, and Gretchen said, "I don't need to go. I have toilet paper in my panties because there was poop in there and I don't want to take it out."

Take that in for a minute.

I inform her that we need to clean her bottom the right way, and sure enough she had poop in her panties. Megan had to go potty. Gretchen was wearing a dress. There was no way that I could let her wear panties with poop in them, but at the same time I didn't have extra. I took Megan's panties off and put them on Gretchen. Megan had on shorts. No one would know. 

Yes, I did. Take it in. 

Parenting Fail. 

Or was it smart?

You decide.

By this time, it was 7:30. Bedtime. 

But, we still had to go to the grocery store. We made it through some of the store, got the girls a cookie, Gretchen misbehaved and got in trouble. She kept stepping in front of the buggy while I was pushing it. She was in my way. I was in a hurry. I was tired. They were tired. 

We finally make it to the chip aisle, and all of a sudden Megan said, "Oh Damnit!" I was shocked. She got in trouble. She said it again. Gretchen said it. Megan said it. They were both laughing. I told the girls that the next person who said that word would get a spanking. Megan looked at me, said it again, and laughed.

By this point, I was in an exhausted, overwhelmed mommy mode.

We make it to the cashier. Did I mention it's difficult to unload groceries with one hand. It is. 

Our popsicles were busted, so the stock boy had to go find them. He couldn't. I finally had to go back and get them. With the girls and all of my groceries.

We made it to the car about 8:30 and the girls were amazed it was dark outside.

Yes girls, it's bedtime. Past bedtime.

We make it home, and I decide to leave everything in the car, nurse Adalyn, get the girls in their pj's, and in the bed, and then I would carry in groceries.

We watched the last 20 minutes of the season finale of American Idol. 

The girls went to bed.

I panicked thinking that I had lost the car keys.

And finally, around 10:30 I crashed. I didn't even take off my bra. Or my makeup. Megan had fallen asleep on the floor (are you surprised?) so I just put her in my bed.

I was never more ready to see the bed than I was that night.

And, I have no other way to wrap up this post than to say, Jeesh! I'm exhausted! Please tell me you have these crazy mommy moments too!