This is 10.

Tomorrow, on January 26th, Gretchen Rose turns 10. 

10.

I cannot even believe that we are entering double digits. It feels like yesterday that she was a baby, and I was figuring out how to be a mom. It feels like yesterday that she was dancing around in her dress up clothes and singing a song while playing her toy guitar. It seems like yesterday, I was walking her in to the door to kindergarten.

The days are long, but the years are short.

Gretchen likes to remind me that she will be a teenager in just three years. And in six years, she'll be driving, and in eight years, she'll be graduating and heading to college. 

That's all the time we have left. And the reality is sinking in that we're halfway done raising her and letting her fly on her own. 

I know that she'll always need me. I'm 35 and I still need my mom every day. But, the needs will be different. The mother-daughter relationship will grow in to friendship, long chats on the phone, talks about her dating life, planning her wedding. And, i'm so looking forward to all of that. 

But, this. This is what I want to wrap up and not let go. This is what I want to capture and hold on forever. This little time that we have left. 

I let her know the other day that I refuse to let her grow up. I told her I had full intentions of locking her away in her bedroom and never letting her out. 

I only wish I could. But, the truth is, and we all know this, is that I can't. I can't keep her locked away. 

But, the truth is also that I'm looking forward to seeing her grow during her teenage years. To watch her really become who she's meant to be. 

Ever since she was a little girl I've prayed that God will use her for His will. That she will follow His plan for her life. That when He says "go". She'll "go"

Gretchen is so brave. She's so determined. She soaks up knowledge. She loves to learn. 

I can't wait to see what she does with that passion for learning.

And while I'm so looking forward to all that's to come, I'm also dreading all of the hardships she will face. For today, is so unlike our teenage years. I dread the words she will hear. The hatred that girls tend to have toward another. I dread the heartbreak. 

I have no idea how to be a parent of a pre-teen, let alone a teenager. I'm going to need all the prayer and advice from my own mother to get us through this. 

Gretchen and I have always had a very open and honest relationship. I have always been straight forward with her, and in the years to come that will continue. I feel like if we can establish this now, it won't be so difficult in those teenage years. I want to be there for her. To help her. To let her cry on my shoulder when she needs to, and to also cheer her on, because I know she is going to do amazing things! 

I'm so proud of her. 

Gretchen Rose, we can't wait to celebrate you tomorrow and this weekend. 

We love you.