Football Wife Life: Ready or Not

Well friends, football season is here. 

I know it's still Summer for most of you, but if your husband works in Football, then you can kiss him good-bye today, because you probably won't see him again until mid-December.

We're entering our 14th Football Season together, and over the years, I've learned a lot! I see young wives struggling a lot, so I thought today, I'd just share some of the things that I've learned throughout our seasons. 

Well. This is true. 

Most likely, your husband won't be home for dinner. Thankfully, DJ gets fed at his office on most nights, so if I feed the girls cereal, or I don't cook a full meal, I don't feel guilty about it. 

One of the big things that I've learned is that we need to stay on schedule and go ahead and eat when it's dinner. We can't wait on DJ to arrive home, because it could be as late as 8 pm, so the girls and I do try to maintain some sort of normalcy and we eat dinner at our usual time. Now, what we eat will depend on the night. Some nights, I make something more kid friendly (like pizza quesadillas) and other nights I'll do a "real" meal for us. 

Stay on schedule. 

Staying on schedule is key. Even when the girls were little, we didn't wait up for daddy to get home. If bedtime was at 7, and DJ was still at the office, the girls would go to bed at 7. I know some wives keep their kids up until their husband's get home so their kids can see their dad, but I was/am a working mom, so my kids need to go to bed so they're not cranky the next day. 

Let go of expectations.

In the Spring and Summer, I fully expect for DJ to help with the laundry, cleaning the kitchen, or even help with bath/bed routine, but during football season, I fully know the responsibilities fall on me and I don't expect him to help. It took me a long time to learn this lesson. Once, I let go of expectations, I became a much happier wife. 

Speak up. 

When I do need help, I ask for it. On nights that DJ is home and can help out, I ask him, and most of  the time, he won't complain. If we're out of milk, I'll ask him to pick some up on the way home. If I need him to take the girls to school on a Friday morning (it's the one day he doesn't have to be at the office until later) then he will. And thankfully, those Friday morning drop offs have become a little tradition for him and the girls. If I'm feeling tired or neglected, then I tell him. 

You get one melt-down per season.

Some where along the way, this became a rule with us. One time per season, I'm allowed one crazy screaming, crying, melt down temper tantrum. DJ gets to listen to it and I'm allowed to have it. I try to save it for at least mid-October or later, because I'm only allowed to have one. But, it totally helps me feel better and helps me survive the remainder of the season. 

Be involved.

This looks different for us every season. When we lived closer to the stadium, we would drop by practices, or try to take dinner up to DJ. Now, we have Sunday night meals with the team, so we go even though it's a night that DJ could sneak home earlier and it makes for a later bedtime. 

We also go to every home game. It's expected that every Saturday, we'll be at a football game if it's at home, or we'll be watching it on TV. 

Many coaches wives, we'll host their position players over for dinners, and since DJ does the video, we try to have his student workers over. This year, we're having them over before August practice begins. We also have them over for Thanksgiving and we have a fun event in the Spring. 

I also try to make them cookies or treat bags, because they're college kids away from home, and I hope to bring them an "at home" feeling. 

Other years, we didn't do a darn thing because the kids were little and life was hard. Do what you can and don't feel guilty about the rest. 

Take an activity bag.

When Gretchen was little and stadium bag rules, weren't so strict, I would take a portable DVD player, side walk chalk, coloring books, and bubbles for her. When we moved to the University of Tulsa, we kept a toy bag in DJ's office and we were able to access it during the games. It had coloring books, baby dolls, barbies, and other, small, random toys. 

Now, the two younger girls go to babysitting so I only have Gretchen with me in the stands. But, she still takes a book to read. Or, we take tablets, team pom poms, and other easy to carry things to keep them busy. You really have to be aware of your stadiums rules. We have to have clear bags, so I have a bag with my stuff, and then the girls have a bag. 

Thankfully, they're getting old enough that they can pretty much sit through an entire game if they can watch the band, cheerleaders, and have food to eat! It really does get easier! 

Make it about family. 

While football is my husband's job, it wasn't my kids choice to be born in to it. However, we make this sport about family. The other coaches and wives become our family during the season. The players become family. DJ's workers and students become family. We go to games and cheer on DJ and the team because its our family. We celebrate every win, every loss, every moment. Our kids are growing up in a lifestyle that is different from most families, and no one but a fellow football coach or wife will get what we go through. But, when we made the decision to pursue football as a career and we've made these moves along the way and moved further from family, we have to remember that we're all we have. DJ and I learned a lot our first year of marriage with no parents nearby, and we've continued to grow stronger and rely on only each other. 

We're a family, and we're going to do this together.

Here's to another season.

Hook 'em! 

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