Football Wife Life: Mid-Season Woes

Well friends, we are over half way through the football season and the mid-season woes are setting in. This is the time of year that I begin to strongly dislike my husband's job. 

Around this time of year, I start to get overwhelmed with the girls- between school, after-school activities, preparing dinners, keeping up with the laundry, the house work- it's just all too much for one person. 

It's this time of year that I just want my husband home and the season to be over with. 

So, how are we surviving?

To be honest, some days, I really don't know how we are making it. I feel like I'm swimming just to stay afloat and I can see the end in sight.  Other days, are great- game days, those wins, knowing how much he loves his job. Those things make it 1,000% worth every bit of missing him and hating him at the same time. 

When DJ and I first started dating, he looked me in the eyes, and told me that this was his job. It would take him away from me and that in no way could I ever be upset about it or mad at him about it. 

Ten years later, and life definitely looks different. That girl that was head over heels in love definitely didn't fast forward to 10 years down the road and imagine how hard life would be with three kids in the picture.

 Would I do it over again? Absolutely.

You see, there are hard days. Man, they are hard. But, there are also some pretty amazing days mixed in! We'll get to those in a minute! 

We're in the middle of the season, where I not only want my husband home, but the girls do as well. I would love to have DJ be able to help pick Addy up from daycare, or pick up the girls from dance and gymnastics so I can get home and start dinner. I'd love for him to be able to help clean the kitchen, give the girls a bath, or put away laundry. 

And, I'm sure the girls would love to have someone other than their mother disciplining them. Someone else to play with, talk to about their day, cuddle up with, or play games with. Because, they're missing their dad, they are testing me and my limits. And my friends, those limits are pretty thin right now. 

Now, I don't want you to read this and think, poor pitiful Elaine, poor little girls..... while it's hard for us all, I know it's hard for DJ too. He works 12+ hours 7 days a week, and then he gets to come home to a wife that is exhausted and kids that are going crazy. 

He gets to come home and see where I've fallen short every day. Some days, he comes home to a kitchen that is a mess, trash bags sitting by the door ready to go out, lunches that need to be fixed, laundry that needs to be put away, girls that still need a bath, or girls that need to be tucked in. 

Sometimes he comes home and he has to pick up my slack. And you know what, he's pretty good at it! I try to make the season easy for him at home, but those days where I'm at my breaking point, he steps in and comes to my rescue. 

We've learned teamwork over the years. If it weren't for our team approach, we'd definitely be loosing in life. This year, he agreed to take Adalyn to daycare every day. That alone has given me the gift of extra time in the mornings. I'm able to sleep just a little bit later, which is another area where being a team has us winning. He knows I'm tired and I need my sleep, so he gets up first to get in the shower. Anyway, he takes Adalyn each day which gives me a few extra minutes every morning to make the bed, load the dishwasher, start a load of laundry, or pick up any mess in the living room. 

Since I'm able to get those things done in the morning, I'm able to come home to a house that is partly clean. The girls get a snack, I fix dinner, we do homework, and then I try to get the kitchen cleaned, lunches started, and a little laundry put away- or I sweep and vacuum the floors.

This way, when he gets home, there's a little less slack that has to be picked up, and he's able to relax. 

He gets home around 8, which means he usually misses putting Adalyn in the bed, but he almost always gets to tuck in Megan and Gretchen. 

Those moments are precious. He sees the girls about an hour or two each day. And, those few moments need to be positive. They need to be able to really spend time with him. 

Every Saturday, the girls and I load up and head to the football game, so long as it's a home game. If it's an away game, we're home watching it on t.v. These girls are growing up knowing how important this game is to our family. That every game played can make a big impact on our family. They learn to appreciate the wins, and their sad when we loose. They're beginning to learn the ins and outs of the game. 

Gretchen told me a few weeks ago, that she wanted to do something. I can't remember exactly what she wanted to do, but I told her we couldn't because we had a football game, and then she said, "well, we can do it next weekend." Again, there was the excuse of "we have a football game then too", and she tired one more weekend, and you guess it- we had a football game. She gave me an exasperated look, and I told her to face it, her life revolves around football and she better get use to it!

I can probably guess that you're thinking how pitiful that can be for a young girl. But you know what, coaches kids are some of the most resilient kids I've ever met. They've moved states, they've left friends, they've adjusted, and then they've done it all over again. They learn to love their dads and they learn to love the game. These kids go to school, and hear about teams winning, teams loosing, and opinions that everyone has. It's about this time of year, that coaching staffs begin to change. Coaches are fired, coaches are hired, coaches move, and football "family's" are broken apart. It's a pretty terrifying time of year. If I can give you one piece of advice right now, as we're nearing the end of the season. If you're team isn't doing so great, if they're struggling, if there are rumors of coaches being fired- don't add fuel to the fire. Remember that there are family's whose lives are uncertain at the very brink of every single decision. And that's a hard pill to swallow. Even for those of us that have been in the game for years and years.

These ladies. These ladies right here are the ones that I can count on. The only people that know exactly how I can feel when my husband is away, and I'm feeling overwhelmed. I am so thankful for these ladies near and far that can understand my frustrations in the season. 

So, we're over half way through. We have three games left to play, and with any luck, we'll have four. We need to have four. We want to have four. 

And, at this point, I can look back and know that we're making it. We're surviving yet another season, and pretty soon, life will be back to "normal". 

You can read my other Football Wife Life posts here.